Shams column: Jogging with Aunty

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sham columnJogging with Aunty
This edition’s column is actually a dedication to the wonderful Asian women that strut their stuff early mornings around the various parks trying to do some exercise and losing a bit of weight. You go girls! Erm I mean Aunties!
I was driving to work one day when I saw to my surprise a bunch of auntiyah wiggling around the park. First I thought they’re just some of our local women casually walking in the nice sunshine. But then I soon realised that this was not the case, they were in fact doing some form of jogging. Do you know how I figured that one out? Well they were wearing normal shalwar kameez, cardigans, some in coats but what gave it away was the bright white trainers! Oh yes, most of them had trainers on and get this, they were wearing sports socks with their shalwar tucked in them! Now admittedly the sight was really funny especially as you have these joyful nattering women who clearly have had a few too many ladoos and gulab jamuns in their time. But what stood out were two very clear things, one was the very eccentric colour schemes and the second, well lets just say they weren’t actually jogging, it was more like pounding heavy steps into the poor earth!

Trust me ladies green shalwar kameez with red dots does not go with white socks and bright white Lonsdale trainers! Carrying on driving I then saw a second group of ladies. Now what was remarkably different about this group was not only were they jogging properly, they actually had the proper kit on… Well almost! Some had track suits on with their head scarfs tucked in, others had jogging pants with wind jackets. I even saw one with an iPod and sweat bands who was doing proper stretches and twists! But even with the gear on and all the different styles, the white trainers just don’t seem to go! I think it’s because it’s just so funny to see such women who clearly are size 18 and over wearing size 2 or 3 trainers, the proportion just isn’t right! But the most funny thing I saw was dearest aunty Billo, a local favourite aunty within the community who is just so funny. She was walking with one of her friends both in traditional outfits including trainers and both were doing well.

They had completed a full lap of the park, which respect to them is almost a complete mile. But when they had finished I saw them sit down on a ‘chaaadarr’ and open up a little bag. To my mouth watering shock aunty Billo pulled out some samosay with desi chai! What! I couldn’t believe my eyes. All that hard work she had done and now samosay! Clearly she was rewarding herself I guess! 

Since I’ve seen this phenomenon I’ve noticed more and more women filling up the park paths after the morning school run bouncing around with scarfs fluttering in the wind, arms waving up and down, and the various new types of jogging styles that have been invented! But what is actually so pleasing is the fact that the women are out there in force, they are trying to do something about their lifestyles, they’re trying to make a difference even by sometimes looking so ridiculous! So in respect of you women here’s a slice of barfi…. Well done and keep it up, especially as you’re doing a lot more than a lot of others
(yes gentlemen hint hint!).

 Disclaimer: No offence was meant during the writing of this article. All comments are made in light humour. The publisher takes no ownership of the content from the columnist

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