Justin Baldoni recently got candid about the emotional toll of filming It Ends With Us, revealing how one particular scene left him grappling with intense emotions. During an appearance on How to Fail With Elizabeth Day, the actor and director discussed the challenges of portraying Ryle Kincaid in the highly anticipated adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s best-selling novel.
Baldoni recalled filming a key moment where Ryle discovers Lily’s (Blake Lively) phone and sees Atlas’ (Brandon Sklenar) number, triggering jealousy and heartbreak. “He’s angry, and he’s heartbroken, and he’s jealous,” Baldoni explained. “You can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I had a near breakdown. I had to leave and just cry and shake because there was so much pain.”
The actor admitted that the emotional burden of the role lingered long after filming, saying, “I had dreams as him for a while, and it lived in my body.”
Baldoni also directed and executive produced the film through his Wayfarer Studios banner, in addition to portraying Ryle. He spoke about the isolation of directing, noting, “Directing is a very lonely job. You’re kind of at the top of this totem pole… nobody wants to disturb you, and you can’t necessarily share your anxiety or your nervousness because you’re also the leader.”
Alongside his professional struggles, Baldoni opened up about his personal life, including an experience of sexual trauma. Recalling a relationship from his college years, he revealed, “It got very emotionally abusive. I experienced sexual trauma in that relationship and wrestled with it for the rest of my life.” He shared how the experience made him feel conflicted, as society often doesn’t recognise that men, too, can suffer sexual trauma at the hands of women.
It was only after years of struggle that Baldoni came to terms with what had happened, thanks to therapy. “One day, my therapist asked me a simple question: ‘Justin, you do a lot of work in this space. If a woman told you that story, what would you call it?’ That’s when I broke.”
Baldoni also spoke about his ADHD diagnosis, which came earlier this year after years of his therapist urging him to get tested. “I felt stupid,” he said, reflecting on his struggles at school. He explained that his parents, not wanting him to feel disabled, never had him tested. “I’ve gone through my anger and my frustration and my grieving about what could have been. I end with compassion and empathy for those two trying to raise a son that looked very similar to them.”
Looking back, Baldoni found comfort in his diagnosis. “I’m able to hold that little boy who had nobody… and let him know that it wasn’t his fault. All those things that you hate about yourself are going to be the things that allow you to be successful one day.”
Through sharing these personal insights, Baldoni continues to highlight his vulnerability and growth, both as an actor and as an individual.
